Do (cisgender) men really have a higher libido than cisgender women?
It is common to hear that men have a stronger libido than women, which translates into more frequent sexual urges. But what is the truth? What increases sexual desire or, on the contrary, causes a decrease in desire? In reality, things are a little more complicated than they seem at first glance.
Libido, hormones and sex drives
The word libido is used to refer to sexual desire, regardless of the person's gender. In Latin, this word literally means "want" or "desire". It was Sigmund FREUD who introduced it into modern language to designate, among other things, the desire to make love. In a patriarchal system, it is common to think that men are more concerned by this than women.
NOTE: You will notice that we focused on cisgender men and women in writing this article because all of the studies mentioned seem to be based on this very binary cisgender man/woman approach, which we naturally do not endorse.
Some studies have actually confirmed this “popular belief” by showing that a higher level of testosterone (male sex hormone) tends to increase sexual instinct in general. While this hormone probably plays a key role in the motivation to engage in sexual activities in a man’s life, the relationship with sex is, for its part, more complex than that and cannot be summed up as a simple question of hormonal concentrations.
In fact, the increase or decrease in sexual desire varies according to age, health (mental and physical), periods of life, past experiences, the quality of the couple's relationship or even culture. Its nature and the way it manifests itself also differ from one person to another. Of course, hormones also have an important role to play in all of this. But, this does not mean that women are less interested in sex than men, simply because their testosterone levels could, for example, be lower on average.
What does science say about the link between gender and sexual desire?
Inconclusive studies
If patriarchal stereotypes lead us to believe that men are more likely to want sex than women, it is because many people are convinced that they see it with their own eyes in their daily lives. And what about science? Well, many scientific studies have looked at the subject using different methods of assessment. Some have used questionnaires, others psychological assessments, and still others biological measurements, including sex hormone levels.
Unfortunately, none of these studies have been able to offer a definitive conclusion. Some, however, demonstrate a real difference between men and women, such as a 2015 study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior. However, the difference was not statistically significant enough to establish this gap incontrovertibly. Other studies, however, do not highlight any superiority of one over the other in terms of sexual desire or, on the contrary, the lack of desire to make love.
These studies are also very uninclusive and do not take into account non-binary people, transgender people or the sexual orientations of the different people surveyed. Note that it is also very difficult to quantify and evaluate desire in people since it is more of a spectrum than a linear and defined trajectory and that a qualitative study with objective and inclusive indicators, on a very large and very heterogeneous sample of people, would make it possible to delineate major trends, but certainly not assertions and observations, on one of the most changing expressions of Human Nature.
The largest scientific study on the subject
Researchers from Saarland University in Germany conducted a meta-analysis of over 200 studies on 620,000 people on the subject of libido. They first noted that the lack of consensus could come from the many methodologies used, but also from the definition of the concept itself, which varies from one research team to another. This meta-analysis revealed that men generally have a significantly stronger relationship with sex than women. They would think about sex more often, have sexual urges more often and masturbate more frequently than women.
Statistics are great, but what about in everyday life?
Although statistics show that on average, men have a higher sex drive than women, this does not mean that this is systematic. This is just a general trend and in fact, many women are more often in the mood for sex than most men. According to a study published in 2022 , 24% to 29% of women would even have a higher libido than the average man.
Ultimately, it is very likely that interest and enthusiasm for sex are the result of a complex interaction between the education one has received, the social norms one respects and the conditions in which one learns about sexuality. It would also result from the combination of various genetic, physiological and biological factors. All of this in a way that is relatively independent of the sexual gender to which one belongs.
"24% to 29% of women would even have a higher libido than the "average" man
The relationship to sex is conditioned by society and our own emotional state
While various studies suggest that women have sexual urges as strong as men , it is true that many people refrain from showing it. Historically, society has often tended to value the man who multiplies conquests and, conversely, to shame the woman who does the same, judging her morally disreputable . If today things tend to balance out, this image of an easy woman conveyed by women who fully assume their sexual desires has remained anchored in many people. This is why some still have difficulty clearly expressing their sexual desires.
But that's not all.
The fear of an unwanted pregnancy also pushes some people to put the brakes on their sexual urges, regardless of their desires or their method of contraception. Finally, sexuality is closely linked to emotional well-being, in both men and women. The desire to make love can be influenced by stress, anxiety, a loss of self-esteem, relationship problems, etc.
For example, it is common to see a loss of libido in cases of depression or overwork. In addition, for a woman, the quality of the relationship with her partner is essential for her sexual well-being. If she does not receive the type of stimulation she expects from him, she has difficulty enjoying their intimate relations and may lose all interest in them.
In summary, whether you are a man or a woman, libido is above all a personal experience that differs for each person. If biologically, men seem more often attracted to sex, in fact, many women are more attracted than the average man. The important thing is to be comfortable with your own relationship with sex and not to force yourself to be part of “the norm” or to allow a partner to make you believe that your libido is inadequate. If, on the other hand, you notice a sudden drop in your libido and it impacts your self-esteem or your life as a couple, we recommend that you talk to a health professional who will be able to advise you.
We use many sources when writing our articles. Here are some additional primers on the topic :
