Cancer and sex life: effects on libido and advice for a fulfilling sexuality

Cancer , regardless of the organ affected , is a condition that, apart from its consequences on health, also has a serious impact on a couple's life and sexuality. Discomfort, pain, decreased libido , fatigue, loss of self-esteem, hormonal disturbances, many side effects arise from the disease itself as well as its treatment ( chemotherapy , radiotherapy , hormone therapy , surgery). Let's look at the impact of cancer on sexual life, in the short and long term.

The effects of cancer and cancer treatments on sexuality

All cancers can impact sex life

When we talk about the links between having cancer and sexuality, we immediately think of urogenital cancers (uterus, ovaries, prostate, bladder, testicles, etc.) or breast cancer. However, these are not the only ones that can make sex more complicated.

In reality, all cancer pathologies can impact the libido due to their psychological, emotional or physical effects . In addition, it is not only the disease that alters the quality of life, it is also the treatment used to treat it that affects sexual comfort, self-image and motivation in general.

At the same time, the partner often feels anxiety, a fear of hurting, a fear of seeing the picture get worse or of a recurrence occurring. The duality between Eros and Thanatos is bitterly expressed in the life of a couple struck by the disease. Changes in appearance (hair loss, mastectomy, etc.) are often only the visible parts of these pitfalls. Uncertainties related to the future, but also the sometimes significant difficulties in approaching the subject of sexuality can - in this context - cause a number of misunderstandings within the couple and further complicate the situation.

The problem of fatigue

Cancerous diseases and the heavy treatments that accompany them have the major disadvantage of causing a deterioration in the general state of health and immense fatigue. This is much more intense than the temporary drops in energy that one feels when one is in good health. Their chronic and long-term nature has the effect of sapping sexual energy, or even completely undermining desire and libido.

Close to exhaustion, this nagging fatigue is both physical and psychological. In addition, it also persists once treatment is finished and remission is pronounced. Some people may still feel diminished months after the end of the illness. However, fatigue is often an obstacle to a fulfilling sexuality as it affects the motivation to do things, to take care of oneself and to focus one's attention on others.

Side effects of treatments

Cancer treatments can cause real discomfort throughout their duration and beyond, adding to the already very uncomfortable physical effects of cancer .

The effects of cancer surgery on self-image

They are synonymous with postoperative pain, but also with various hormonal disorders when they affect certain sexual organs such as the testicles or ovaries. However, sexual desire , vaginal lubrication and a large part of the mechanisms at play before and during intercourse are controlled by hormones. Some surgeries also have the delicate disadvantage of modifying the body image of the people who have undergone them, particularly in cases of removal of one or both breasts. Others have the disadvantage of discouraging seduction or even causing self-loathing or a drop in self-esteem, such as stomas, bladder catheters or the placement of implantable chambers (Port-a-cath).

The effects of chemotherapy on sexual desire

The side effects of chemotherapy sometimes lead to a reduction in sexual desire . The decrease in libido generally disappears once the treatment is finished, but can last up to 2 or 3 years after the end of it. Other consequences such as weight loss, or on the contrary weight gain, hair loss also cause physical changes that can be difficult to live with for both partners. At the same time, the nausea felt with certain molecules is also a hindrance to sexuality.

Side effects of hormone therapy and radiotherapy on emotional and sexual life

Hormone therapy , as well as radiotherapy when it targets hormone-producing organs, can lead to early menopause. In this case, in addition to disturbances in libido and vaginal dryness, infertility may also appear. Radiotherapy can also be responsible for vulvovaginal atrophy causing pain, but also lesions at the anorectal level which are not without consequences for the people treated in terms of sexual discomfort.

Due to its nature, hormone therapy can unbalance the functioning of hormonal glands, which will have a medium or long-term impact on sexual comfort. It is often associated with a spectacular loss of libido because it suppresses the action of sex hormones in the case of hormone-dependent cancers. The absence of estrogen in people with vulvas or testosterone in people with penises often causes dyspareunia , vaginal atrophy and therefore painful intercourse in some and erectile dysfunction and ejaculation disorders in others.

Sexual pleasure can help you overcome cancer

A fulfilling sex life is not a panacea for the disease, but it can help alleviate the physical effects of cancer , reduce pain and overcome the psychological problems common during this period. Feeling pleasure and having orgasms pushes the body to secrete a real cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters that promote well-being, some of which have analgesic properties: endorphins (real morphine compounds naturally produced by the body), serotonin (the good mood hormone), dopamine (motivation) and oxytocin (attachment and well-being) to name a few. It's the feel-good cocktail in case of post-surgical pain or dyspareunia !

Additionally, simply accepting touch from a loved one and strengthening emotional bonds helps create a safe atmosphere and reduce anxiety and discomfort.

Let us remember that a sexual and emotional life does not necessarily revolve around penetrative sex, but that all other activities that can provide pleasure and enjoyment are not to be banned, even if the rest does not function optimally.

Some solutions to maintain a fulfilling sexuality, a source of good vibes

1. Work on sexual communication within the couple

As is often the case when it comes to sexuality, talking about what is blocking you is a good way to find desire and pleasure again. Communication is not just about chatting for hours, it is also about exploring new avenues. Sexual life is not limited to penetrative intercourse, or even to sexual acts strictly speaking, it is above all a question of intimacy! You don't dare to verbalize your desires, your emotional and sexual needs? Keep a joint diary. Fill the pages according to your sexy desires of the moment and leave it lying around in full view of your other half who, through this consented intrusion into your privacy, will be able to get a better idea of ​​what will really please you.

If painful intercourse limits your sexual possibilities , why not simply get closer by kissing, caressing, enjoying your partner's closeness or sharing pleasant massages ? A fulfilling sexual and emotional life is above all the time spent together expressing your sensuality and voluptuousness.

2. Use sex toys, lubricants and boosters with stimulating action

If sexual intercourse, whether penetrative or not, does not pose a problem from a physical or purely medical point of view, the use of sex toys can be a good way to relearn how to love your body and feel pleasure. Just think about ensuring the safety of the materials: silicone guaranteed without phthalates or ABS plastic, without the presence of solvents. And do not deny yourself your pleasure, bet on the most effective toys of the moment. The Womanizer, among others, is perfect for reaching orgasm quickly, alone or as a couple, whether it is to spice up a tender moment, end a relationship in style or simply to sleep better!

To increase libido , it is also possible to use boosters to apply locally, such as our natural stimulating oil , for example, a drop of this powerful synergy of essential oils and the clitoral area is vascularized like never before. Penetration makes you want it, but lubrication is a problem? Our lubricant is free of endocrine disruptors and hormones and can help you regain maximum sexual comfort, without compromising your health or your treatment. Consider talking about it with your healthcare professional.

3. Vaginal dilators to combat pain during penetration and vaginal atrophy

In case of painful intercourse, the use of vaginal dilators is ideal to help relearn to accept penetration without triggering a reflex contraction (vaginismus) which increases the pain. Combined with the Yes VM vaginal lubricant and moisturizer , they are perfect for combating dyspareunia and pain related to vulvovaginal atrophy resulting from hormone therapy or radiotherapy . To make things easier, you can also plan your sexual activity, so that you can take a painkiller 30 to 60 minutes before to reduce the risk of pain.