What is the cause of my dyspareunia?

Dyspareunia refers to pain felt in the genitals during sexual intercourse, even when fully consensual. Disturbing the intimacy and dynamics of the couple, it affects the quality of life and psychological well-being of those who suffer from it. But what is the cause of dyspareunia? What is the solution to this problem? Who can you talk to about it? We tell you everything!

How do I know if I have dyspareunia?

Dyspareunia is manifested by pain that appears just before, during or after sexual intercourse. It can be superficial and felt at the level of the vulva and vagina or deep, expressed at the level of the lower abdomen or in the pelvis. Its intensity varies according to the situations. Often, it is accompanied by other symptoms: burning, itching, cramps, muscle spasms.

It can be permanent, that is, present during all sexual relations, or intermittent, occurring only at certain times or with certain partners. Some people suffer from this disorder from their first intimate relations, others only see it develop later in their sexual life.

What are the causes of dyspareunia?

The most common causes

The causes of dyspareunia can be multiple and varied. Apart from an obvious lack of desire to make love which can impact the natural lubrication of the vagina, various problems can cause this disorder. The most common are:

• intimate dryness causing insufficient lubrication;
• vaginal atrophy which causes the lining of the vagina to become dry and inflamed, especially after menopause;
• vaginal infections: vaginitis, sexually transmitted infections (STIs);
• infections of the uterus and cervix;
• genital tract abnormalities: uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, malformation of the fallopian tubes;
• endometriosis , a major cause of intimate pain and sexual discomfort;
• sexual intercourse after childbirth too early;
• dermatological disorders affecting the genital mucous membranes: lichen sclerosus, psoriasis, eczema;
• psychological problems causing involuntary muscle spasms during penetration, resulting in vaginismus .

Less obvious causes

Some conditions can cause severe pain during sexual intercourse, but they may not be obvious. For example, an ectopic pregnancy can cause it even though the person does not know they are pregnant. Pudendal neuralgia , a rarer condition that is characterized by severe pain in the pelvis, even outside of sexual intercourse, can also cause it. More surprisingly, digestive disorders can also cause dyspareunia. This can be the case with constipation or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), for example.

How to treat dyspareunia?

Although it is particularly annoying, dyspareunia is not inevitable! There are solutions specifically designed to restore your intimate comfort. Here are some tips for having pain-free sex .

Talk to your doctor

If you suffer from intimate pain, it is essential to speak about it without delay to a health professional, who will be able to refer you to a specialist able to treat the cause: gynecologist, dermatologist, urologist, sexologist, etc. A precise examination is essential to establish the diagnosis and determine appropriate treatment.

Act on the physical plane

Aside from problems requiring medical or surgical treatment, it is possible to take action on a physical level in everyday life. For example, a physiotherapist or osteopath can help you get to know your body better and learn how to relax the pelvic floor muscles to facilitate penetration and relieve pain.

Accessories dedicated to intimate comfort can help you, at home, to prepare for penetration and to experience it better if dyspareunia is linked to vaginismus. You can in particular turn to vaginal dilators . We explain how to treat genital pain using these devices in this article.

You can also opt for sexual comfort rings that help limit the depth of penetration, if the pain comes from the cervix, for example. Finally, don't hesitate to use water-based lubricants or vaginal moisturizers to resolve vaginal dryness problems and thus reduce painful friction and irritation.

Don't neglect the psychological aspect

Not only can dyspareunia be the consequence of vaginismus caused by psychological shock, but it also has a significant impact on your psychological well-being. Setting up psychological monitoring can be beneficial to better cope with this situation. It also provides an opportunity to work on pain management and on possible blockages and anxieties related to sexual relations.

It is also essential to discuss your difficulties with your partner who may also be suffering from the situation. Communication within the couple remains essential to preserve harmony in your relationship and maintain a fulfilling sexuality, even when intimate worries come to modify habits on this level.

And since the mind has a significant influence on the physical sphere, it is also interesting to consider an approach to the problem using relaxation techniques that you will implement alone. Mindfulness meditation, yoga or even sophrology offer various exercises that can help you relax your body, listen to your bodily sensations to better understand them and manage pain in a more appropriate way.

Finding support so you don’t stay alone

In cases of dyspareunia, it is essential to seek all available help to avoid isolation and share your feelings with people who suffer from the same problem.

Support groups

Online support groups or groups run by healthcare professionals are the ideal way to find someone to listen and understand. By sharing your experiences, failures and successes with dyspareunia, you will receive support from people who are going through the same thing as you and will also help those who are at an earlier stage than you.

The ISSWSH Network

The International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH) is an organization dedicated to promoting research and education on women's sexual health. Their website offers a "find a provider" feature that is ideal for finding women's sexual health specialists in your location of choice.

Treating dyspareunia starts with being able to share your problems with healthcare professionals, your partner, and other people who are suffering. Don’t stay alone and don’t give up. Your intimate comfort is far too important and can impact your emotional well-being (and vice versa)!