Sex after childbirth: What are the possible changes?

Childbirth is a unique moment in life that can also leave its share of psychological and physical scars. Painful intercourse, vaginal gaping, intimate dryness, sexuality after childbirth is sometimes difficult to re-tame. Here are some ideas for finding a fulfilling sex life after the birth of your baby, whether you want to focus on clitoral pleasure or resume penetrative intercourse.

Sex after childbirth: Perspectives that can change

The relationship with sex after childbirth

Fatigue related to pregnancy and the birth of the baby, hormonal disruptions, new family dynamics to establish, the period following childbirth is full of upheavals. Psychologically, all these events can have an impact on the sexual life of both partners.

The person who has given birth may have difficulty being interested in sex, while their partner may feel neglected or intimidated by this body that has changed or is still healing. Everyone must find their comfort again, both in the couple and in intimacy. The most important thing is to go at your own pace, without forcing yourself, letting yourself be guided by your desires and your intuition but always continuing to communicate, if necessary, with the person who shares your life.

However, the psychological aspect is not the only criterion to take into account to find pleasure again and recover a serene sexuality. The problem can also be physical.

Disorders that sometimes appear following pregnancy

Childbirth, whether vaginal or by caesarean section, is not without consequences on the genital area and the perineum in particular, as are the 9 months of pregnancy that preceded it. Following childbirth, various symptoms and disorders may appear:

• Painful intercourse: traumatized by childbirth and sometimes by medical procedures during it, in particular episiotomy, the genital area can become very sensitive. During the first weeks after childbirth, penetrative intercourse can be complicated , because it can cause pain. This is called dyspareunia. You will have to wait until the intimate mucous membranes and the walls of the vagina have recovered before considering penetration again. To start again slowly, consider using sexual comfort rings which will allow you to limit the depth of penetration and therefore go at your own pace.
• Vaginismus: a consequence of past painful intercourse or pain following childbirth, vaginismus is manifested by an involuntary contraction reflex of the vaginal muscles to prevent any penetrative intercourse. It is important to speak to your doctor, gynecologist or midwife first. The use of dilators is sometimes recommended and can help to gently stop this defense mechanism.
• Vaginal atrophy: this is a significant intimate dryness linked to an estrogen deficiency. This disorder generally affects women at menopause, but can also be a consequence of pregnancy or breastfeeding. It is not only the cause of intimate discomfort, but also makes penetration painful due to a lack of lubrication of the vaginal walls. Depending on the case, it will be necessary to use a lubricant , a vaginal moisturizer or medical care to set up a basic treatment.
• Vulvar gaping (or vaginal gaping): One of the possible and particularly annoying consequences of childbirth is vulvar or vaginal gaping, which results from the weakening of the pelvic floor. This symptom reduces the pleasure felt by both partners during penetrative intercourse, but it is also synonymous with urinary leakage for the person suffering from it. In this case, a consultation with a health professional is necessary and often also perineal rehabilitation sessions.

Finding a fulfilling sexuality after giving birth

Bet everything on the clitoris

Happy and fulfilling sex doesn't necessarily involve vaginal penetration. There are plenty of other ways to have fun as a couple or solo after giving birth. It's time to rediscover your body and your intimacy: think about clitoral stimulation! Whether you want to resort to penetration or not, never forget that the clitoris is your best ally for reaching orgasm. Sensual caresses, cunnilingus that will make you lose your mind, original sex toys and stimulating products will be your friends during the postpartum period, especially in the case of painful penetration.

Heading for sensuality

In the daily life turned upside down by the arrival of a baby, we sometimes forget the essential: sexual pleasure is above all a matter of connection with your body and your partner. Both to awaken your senses and to strengthen the bonds with your sweetheart , think about sensual massages. Choose lightly scented oils with a captivating texture that are good for the body and the soul. Perfect for massaging or being massaged while taking care of your skin, our organic coconut/shea body balm  will work wonders! You can use it with complete peace of mind for intimate massages on the vulva and even for daily care.

Sensuality is not just for couples, it is also very important for you to find a peaceful relationship with your body. Sexuality can only be fulfilling if you feel good about yourself. Take care of yourself, rediscover your sensations and your anatomy by caressing yourself, treat yourself to a sensual break by lighting scented candles or practicing self-massage. Don't hesitate to let go and reconnect with your sexuality through masturbation.

Perineal rehabilitation is essential

To regain maximum sensations, treat vulvar gaping and, above all, reduce the risk of suffering from urinary incontinence in the years to come, perineal rehabilitation is essential. Provided by a physiotherapist, an osteopath, a midwife, a doctor or any other health professional experienced in this field, it effectively restores the tone of the perineum.

Practitioners use various techniques to strengthen the perineum:

• Use of an electronic probe to monitor in real time the contraction capacity of the pelvic muscles,
• Manual rehabilitation using proven techniques,
• Use of accessories designed to perform Kegel exercises: Geisha balls, vaginal cones.

Kegel exercises are very effective in restoring perineal tone. They are not only reserved for use in a medical setting and can also be implemented at home to obtain faster results. To help you perform them in the best conditions, we offer a whole range of geisha balls adapted to your different needs. However, geisha balls are not recommended in cases of pelvic floor hypertonicity.

Retame your vagina

Putting penetration aside for a while does not mean that you should forget about it completely. It is entirely possible to gradually re-appropriate more pleasant sensations by providing a targeted response to the problems that make penetrative intercourse complicated. If the main concern is limited to vaginal dryness, then consider using an organic or non-organic lubricant before penetration. Using a vaginal moisturizer is a basic treatment that also helps restore intimate comfort outside of intercourse. However, if the problem persists beyond the first few weeks after giving birth, it is important to talk to your doctor, gynecologist or endocrinologist, because vaginal atrophy is probably linked to a hormonal imbalance.

In case of dyspareunia, or even vaginismus, it is also possible to refamiliarize yourself with penetration gradually by reducing the depth to which the penis or sex toy can go using sexual comfort rings, such as those offered by Ohnut . Vaginal dilators , for their part, are recommended to treat vaginismus and relearn the muscles of the vagina to accept penetration without triggering a defense mechanism. By focusing on clitoral pleasure, while gradually re-taming your vaginal sensations, you will be able to gently reconnect with your intimacy.

Clitoral stimulators , Ohnut sexual comfort rings, dilators, perineal rehabilitation , to cope with the changes occurring in sexuality after childbirth, there are now a host of solutions. Listen to your body and you should certainly find the way that suits you best to find sexual pleasure again!