5 tips for pain-free intercourse

Painful intercourse. This is a rather difficult subject to broach! However, a large number of women and people suffer from it at one point or another in their sexual life, often in silence. There can be a whole list of causes, some easier to treat than others.

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine the nature of genital pain. Vaginismus, chemotherapy or menopause - which can cause problems with vaginal dryness or atrophy or loss of elasticity of vaginal tissues - are among the most common syndromes or causes or recognized by the medical community. However, these are not the only causes of sexual pain in women and people with vaginas.

In some people, genital pain can also manifest itself (sometimes late) after a situation of trauma or sexual violence that they may have experienced at some point in their life. It can also be of unknown origin...

At IntyEssentials, one of our main missions is to support anyone who suffers from painful sex by helping them transform any experience of intimacy into a positive one, without any shame or pain, whatever its nature! We share with you our 5 best tips for more sexual comfort.

1. Communication:

In any circumstance, the key to a positive sexual experience is communication. Whether it’s discussing things that we like or dislike, such as positions, scenarios, the way of being touched, etc. or even things that make us feel comfortable or not. “Conventional” pornographic productions often give us the false impression that to be good, sex must be spontaneous, passionate and sometimes hardcore . However, this is not the taste of a large majority!

Moreover, the scenes are often filmed from a male angle and the reactions are mostly very exaggerated and are therefore far from representing reality. So, if your partner suggests a scenario that makes you uncomfortable or displeases you and if you find a certain position painful, for example, do not hesitate to talk to him or her about it openly. Believe us, provided that they have the necessary maturity to listen to you, your partner will be delighted to do whatever it takes for your well-being and pleasure (and therefore theirs) and this will only bring you closer together!

Otherwise, this experience will serve to confirm to you whether or not you have chosen the right partner... So it's more of a win-win, isn't it? By the way, read this excellent article written by our friends at Ohnut who offer 5 ways to talk about sexual discomfort with your partner.

2. Find a penetration depth that suits you:

For many women and people with vaginas, the depth and friction during penetration can cause pain. If this is the case for you, there is now a promising and very innovative product that can relieve this type of genital pain! These are the sexual comfort rings by the American brand Ohnut . Indeed, this set of very soft, malleable and stackable rings are worn at the base of the penis or penetrating object and compress like a tampon during penetration! The depth of penetration is thus reduced depending on the number of rings used. It works like a charm! For more details on this product, we invite you to consult the product page .

According to the manufacturer, this ingenious product can be used in combination with perineal rehabilitation sessions or (vaginal) dilator therapy. Bonus point: the Ohnut can be used with a condom!

3. Have you considered vaginal dilators?

Many people experience vaginal narrowing and reduced elasticity at some point in their lives. Others may experience vaginismus, dyspareunia, or other conditions that can make sex uncomfortable. If this is the case for you, it is important to discuss it with a healthcare professional. Depending on your situation, treatment with a vaginal dilator may be recommended.

Vaginal dilators are effective against vaginismus and dyspareunia.

IntyEssentials particularly recommends the use of this type of product for people who suffer from prolonged or recurring involuntary muscle contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. Vaginal dilators are also generally suitable for pain felt during sexual intercourse, as well as if you suffer from vaginal dryness and irritation. It is very important to choose quality vaginal dilators , made from medical grade silicone. You can use a little water-based lubricant to facilitate insertion.

4. Use a quality vaginal moisturizer:

If you suffer from vulvovaginal dryness or atrophy, using a good vaginal moisturizer could be a real asset in your intimate routine and therefore relieve genital pain during penetration. Make sure to choose a vaginal moisturizer with a long-lasting effect, with an adapted pH and whose composition is healthy and will therefore not cause epithelial damage or any other problem at the level of the vulvovaginal flora. Read our article on this subject .

5. Choose a suitable lubricant:

If you suffer from vaginal dryness due to menopause , postpartum, or hormonal changes, your genital pain may simply be caused by friction during penetration and lack of lubrication. In this case, using a good lubricant or intimate gel can be very effective! Make sure you choose a type of lubricant that is appropriate for your situation. For example, since they can make latex porous, oil-based lubricants should be avoided when using condoms. If you are unsure about the type of intimate lubricant to choose, we suggest you read our article on this subject .

If vaginal dryness or atrophy occurs, use a good lubricant
or a vaginal moisturizer to reduce friction during intercourse.

If there is one thing we invite you to take away from this article, it is that, contrary to popular belief, painful intercourse is a common problem ( 3 out of 4 women, according to an American study )! Whatever its nature, if you suffer from pain during intercourse, know that your discomfort is completely valid and real and that you are not alone. Do not hesitate to knock on every door and make all the noise you need to receive the care and treatment you need and to which you are fully entitled! Remember that YOU are not the problem. It is rather any person or system that tries to make you believe it or worse does not believe you. Surround yourself with people and health professionals who truly want your best interests at heart and do not want to see you suffer in silence. There are a multitude of therapies and products that have been designed with the sole purpose of relieving painful female sexual disorders. So, above all, don't get discouraged and take charge of your sexual well-being!