Sexuality after childbirth: vulvar gaping, sexual comfort and loss of sensation

Pregnancy and then childbirth represent a real revolution in the lives of future parents. For months, the pregnant person's body is put to the test before it gives its all at the time of birth.

Vaginal childbirth in conditions that are not favorable to a physiological process can have repercussions on sexual life . The impression of having a wide vagina , the sensation of a vulvar gape , the loss of sexual sensations alter the physical and psychological comfort of the person with the vulva and their partner. In this article, we take stock of sexual well-being after childbirth. Perineal rehabilitation, geisha balls , vibrators, pleasure, here are some non-exhaustive ways to regain a fulfilling sexuality .

Vagina after childbirth: why does it feel stretched?

In a cisgender heterosexual couple, it is not uncommon to experience difficulties in postpartum sexuality . The person with the vulva must become familiar with new physical sensations, changes in their anatomy , and even pain related to penetration. For their part, their partner must learn to support their other half in the face of the bodily changes that are occurring, but above all, they must reinvent a sexual life that is sometimes confronted with pitfalls. Visually, the vulva may appear different and the tone around the vaginal canal may appear weaker, giving the impression that the vagina is wider . The passage of the baby through the vaginal canal and the widening of the pelvis during pregnancy are the main source of these sensations. However, what really causes the impression of widening of the vagina is in reality the loss of tone in the pelvic floor . This was already damaged during the 9 months of pregnancy, then the vaginal delivery put even more strain on this area.

While in reality the vagina is what is called a “virtual cavity” (a cavity sealed by the muscle tone surrounding the vaginal walls), the sensation of gaping is essentially attributable to the relaxation of the muscles surrounding the vulvovaginal area. In terms of pleasure, this loss of tone inevitably results in a lack of sensations during penetration. External stimulation of the clitoris may be subject to some hormonal fluctuations, but it remains essentially the main source of pleasure!

Internal pleasure sensations can be impacted by this postpartum hypotonicity. Indeed, the muscles of the pelvic floor allow - among other things - to control the constrictor of the vulva, a muscle bundle that plays a key role in the constrictive effort of the vaginal walls. Deprived of this constriction effect, the bulbs and pillars of the clitoris “float” and intra-vaginal stimulation, without it, seems much less pleasant. However, it would be wrong to imagine that the situation is irreversible. Sexual pleasure is not just about having a perfectly tight vagina . In addition, it is entirely possible to regain satisfying sensations by improving the tone of the pelvic floor.

What actually causes the appearance of vaginal enlargement is actually the loss of tone in the pelvic floor.

Vulvar gaping: what you need to know

The relaxation of the perineum is responsible for the vulvar or vaginal gaping. In a young and healthy woman, this situation only lasts 6 to 12 months maximum. But, sometimes, the disorders persist. This is why it is necessary to do everything possible to restore the tone of the perineum . And not only for sexual health! Perineal rehabilitation is also very important for urinary and fecal continence and for the prevention of bladder or uterine prolapse that can occur postpartum.

Vaginal gaping results in:

• a loss of sensation during penetrative intercourse or masturbation with a vaginal sex toy,
• pain during penetration (dyspareunia),
• difficulty keeping a tampon in place,
• urinary incontinence, with or without stress,
• vaginal gases themselves responsible for abnormal noises during intercourse,
• frequent vaginal infections or cystitis, the influx of air that can occur is not without impacting the vaginal microbiota,
• prolapse (descent of organs in the most serious cases.

Reconnecting with pleasure after childbirth: treatments and solutions

Restore vaginal tone

Using osteopathy to reposition the pelvis after childbirth can help to re-consolidate the pelvic floor and ultimately influence vulvovaginal tone. Therefore, to regain more sensations during penetration. At the same time, it is important to follow perineal rehabilitation sessions prescribed upon leaving the maternity ward to recover satisfactory muscle tone at the perineal level. Above all, you will need to be patient , because the situation will not resolve itself in the space of a few days. If there is a physical reality to vaginal gaping , it is above all the way in which we approach sex that provides pleasure during penetration. This is undoubtedly the time to revisit the positions of the Kama Sutra or to get out of your sexual routine by exploring new possibilities.

Combine business with pleasure with geisha balls and vaginal cones

Following a perineal rehabilitation with a health professional does not mean that you can't do anything on your side! Geisha balls , have you heard of them? Halfway between a sex toy and a perineal muscle-building device, they are ideal for strengthening the pelvic floor and therefore improving sexual pleasure . But you need to know how to use them to get good results. Don't panic, we'll tell you about them here !

There are different types, some are simple balls with a cord, others are progressive and allow you to strengthen the perineum gradually by adapting to your abilities. You can also use vaginal cones (you can find some here ) which are based on the same principle, but with a slightly more medical approach. They are also called Kegel balls. Fun and easy to use, these devices also allow you to rediscover and better control the tone of your genital area.

Vaginoplasty in the most severe cases

In most cases, serious perineal rehabilitation is enough to restore the firmness of the vagina and regain a fulfilling sexuality. But sometimes, the situation has deteriorated so much that surgery is necessary. Vaginoplasty consists of restoring the structure of the vagina by tightening it and reshaping it by repairing the muscle fibers that may have been damaged.

There's more to life than just the vagina!

Of course, it is important to regain a toned perineum and real vaginal sensations, but your sex life should not stop at this aspect and is above all a matter of complicity and communication between partners. The clitoris is the key element of a fulfilled sexuality , and by definition the main erogenous zone in people with vulvas, whether you practice sex alone, with a partner or with others. For maximum sensations, have fun rediscovering this essential organ with your partner. Need a little spice? Why not try a vibrator specially dedicated to clitoral pleasure ? There are different types, some even combining clitoral stimulation and penetration. In this article , we tell you about all the clitoral stimulators that you can use to reach orgasm!